GO AHEAD, DRIVE LIKE AN IDIOT; YOUR LUXURY CAR’S ELECTRONICS WILL BAIL YOU OUT

8/20/14

CNBC, among other networks, has been featuring ads for Lexus of late that highlight Lexus vehicles’ passive electronic safety devices.   In an ad I just saw, a mother driving a Lexus SUV turns around completely to attend to her child seated in a safety seat in the backseat of the vehicle.  In doing so, she wanders into the oncoming lane of traffic and only turns around to face the road when she hears the blaring horn of an approaching semi.  Her Lexus automatically stops, avoiding certain death, or worse, for her, for her innocent child, and for the equally innocent semi driver.  What horrible fate befell those driving behind the frantically breaking semi (and Lexus) is left to the imagination.

Hmm…

The message here is clear:  You can drive your Lexus like a total a—hole, but don’t worry; the car’s electronic gizmos will save you.   So go ahead and drive inattentively. Ignore your primary job when behind the wheel (driving) and attend to life’s more urgent matters, like sending that text, checking that e-mail, gazing at the nav screen, or immediately attending to the slightest hint of discomfort from your child.   Do the sorts of things that normally would put you at risk of life and limb because your car can save you.  Driving no longer requires skill or attention, thanks to Lexus.

Yours truly is only picking on Lexus because that overpriced Toyota brand seems to run this same ad repeatedly and I happen to see it on CNBC.  Other carmakers, and especially “luxury” (whatever that means) car makers use the same approach with varying degrees of fidelity.

The whole “Now you can drive like a moron because the electronics will save you from your utter stupidity and lack of responsibility or concern for anyone but yourself and (maybe) your immediate loved ones” approach genuinely infuriates those of us who simply love to drive.  By “drive,” in this instance, I mean really drive…attentively, safely, skillfully, hopefully manually, and, yes, in a spirited manner.  Slow does not equal safe.   There is no lack of speed that will overcome lack of attention, but I digress.  The ads that embody the “drive foolishly because we have your back” approach encourage the types of imbecilic driving that is becoming increasingly prevalent on the nation’s highways and byways.   More importantly, this inattentive, who gives a rat’s hindquarters what I do because my expensive car will bail me out, approach to driving dramatically increases the danger factor on America’s roads, regardless of the gizmos we pack in our cars.

One of my favorite bumper stickers is

“It’s car, not a phone booth.”

(Incidentally, my favorite bumper sticker is

“Forget world peace; envision using your turn signal.”  But I digress.)

Now we need a new version of the first sticker, something like

“It’s a car, not a phone booth, office, e-mail reception area, restaurant, grooming station, opinion forum, TV room…”

But I fear such a long bumper sticker would be counterproductive, or at least ironic; reading the whole damn thing would require too much diversion of attention from the task at hand.